The Path We Take
by tvdunlop
Summary: Goes with the show, JD face their future. Spoilers for Requiem. Josh prepares for the future as Chief of Staff and Donna ponders her role in his life.
1. A Big Step

Author's note and disclaimer:

Okay I know I have another Josh/Donna fic, but that's AUish. I was so in love with last night's episode I thought I'd start a new more realistic one. I don't have re-watch capabilities here at school so I'm going with what I remember. I'll probably do it weekly to try and work with the show. There are SPOILERS in here…set during the episode ELECTION DAY (part 1). Please review! I own nothing sadly, but they're finally allowing Josh and Donna to head to the next level which I would have done four years ago, but hey it makes for a great ending. Oh and also, I don't know if this title has been used, I'm a little worried it has. If that is the case I will switch it immediately and no plagiarism is intended, I just like it, but it seems like one that could easily be out there.

I'm sharing a bed with him. I never thought we'd make it. I was scared as I walked away and he came to me and consumed me. I felt his weight on top of me and I tried not to cry. I had dreamed of this for years, I've wanted him for years. I think in a way I have. He held me and I allowed myself to believe that I was the luckiest girl alive. I was his finally; I knew in that moment that this was real and that there was no turning back. I'll never be with another; I'd rather die than sleep with someone else. After years of gomers, I'm no longer young, but I've waited nine years for this moment. It's been the longest road I've traveled, at his side, waiting for him to reach out to me. Maybe he didn't reach out, but he grabbed on, now I'm here. This is the point of no return, I can feel in my heart that we've finally crossed that line and the dream I've had for nine years is finally becoming a reality. I thought about the stars that I've wished on, I've wished for this when I blow out my birthday candles. Perhaps you're thinking I wished I could be with Josh. That's not quite it, I wished I could be happy, and find someone who made me feel cherished. You're correct if you're shaking your head…I guess for me it has always been him I've been thinking of. I was quiet after he curled up next to me, but he didn't believe for one second that I was asleep.

"Donna," he waits.

I don't say anything, but I move my hand to his head of curls where it rests on my chest.

"Are you okay," he's waiting, but I don't know if I am.

"Go to sleep Josh," he's tired, we both are.

"Donna," he's mumbling now.

"Shush, its okay," and it is. I don't know how, but it's ok.

I'm frantically dressing and he appears with a smile and hesitancy in his eyes. I'm in my bra, I feel naked down to my core. I never realized that being so intimately scrutinized by someone you're so close to makes it so real. It makes it real that he knows my body now too; we're not where we were anymore. He's studying me and I can't help but shiver internally. I can't bring myself to answer his questions, to take it seriously because deep down I know what this means. I can't really believe what just happened. So I leave for coffee and I come back to find people there, it's not fair, I was actually ready to talk to him. As I was pouring the coffee I realized what I was doing. I was getting him coffee, I'm not Donna the assistant anymore. He takes the coffee and we're off and running.

I've gotten him back into bed. He's obsessing over the numbers and I'm so worried about him. It was just as wonderful this time around and we're watching TV, I can picture us doing this someday, have it be a house and not a hotel room.

"Do you have Donna?" That's what we hear.

Josh snickers, I love the way that sounds. He has me; I hope he knows he always has.

Josh has been a wreck this whole day, the sex didn't distract him for long enough.

He's gone outside after Lou managed to get him to shut up. I tell him I'm here to make sure he's okay. I know he isn't, he's been doing this for too long, "Josh, you're done, it's out of your hands."

I don't think he's listening, but he does fade away. I want to yell at him to come back and although I'm always going to be here for him, I'm angry. It's not fair that just as we've found each other I'm going to lose him again. I'm going to lose him to the damn White House. What about us? It's not fair to ask him, and I would never dream of it, but sometimes, especially now, I wonder if we'll ever get the time to just be us. He's a million miles away in electoral math, numbers, percentages, strategies, talking points and I'm right here. We're almost touching, but I've never felt so purposefully distanced. This spark we have, almost nine years, it deserves to catch. It has. He needs to see that I'm here; I have to be here now. I've made my choice, I've chosen Josh and in doing so I've chosen a future as a politician's partner, maybe even as a wife. Abbey Bartlett would criticize me, then again, she knows, they all know. I knew and Josh knew what was between us, but there was Cliff, Amy, Mandy, all these people between us. What about now? There's no one here, no one in the way but us and the choices we've made. I would do anything he asked of me, out of love.

She's standing next to me and I want to apologize to her. I want to tell her that I'm so dreadfully sorry for treating her the way I have. I want to tell her that last night was the most magical moment I've had in years, maybe ever. She told me to sleep, things were okay, and I did. Nobody can take care of me like Donna, according to her, "you have to get Josh." She's more qualified than any woman, any person I've ever met. I'm in so deep here, the Congressman is with his family. His wife is taking care of him; tomorrow he may well be the next president of the United States of America. I have at least four more years, possibly as Chief of Staff. In amongst all the numbers, along with all the oddities of this election, the ball tonight, and the coverage, is my future. I don't listen to the voice in my head enough; right now it's begging me to think about Donna. I can't, she's the one thing I haven't screwed up and right now we're okay. So I sit and wait in silence and pray someday it'll come out right.


	2. Moving On with Our Lives

Author's note I loved Sunday's episode as well, although I wish Leo's death hadn't been quite so sidelined. Next week's episode looks like a fitting tribute though. This isn't exactly like the episode especially in terms of dialogue, I know roughly what was said and some phrases, but it's not all 100 accurate. I own nothing, just borrowing for creativity and the timeline (when they won Texas) may not be perfect. I might edit when I re-watch the episode…but the events for the most part did happen. Please review.

"Two minutes, not more than that, think up something" Josh says and then I'm gone leaving him to the concerns of the transition team. I watch him take an envelope and I make my way out of the room trying to come up with an idea. Once upstairs I take a deep breath, we're professionals. It was just like the old days, our little banter and quick walking. Since when has anything been professional with us? Actually that's an unfair question, seven years in the White House and although everyone noticed, there was never anything to peg. It wasn't like Sam and the call girl, or Josh and Amy or even CJ and Danny. It was just us, the two of us working late nights and the two of us coming to each other's side. I suppose you could argue it was just me; I was at his beckon call. I was as his assistant, but I refused to bring him coffee until just recently, and I didn't appreciate his yelling. People told me I was the only one who could work with him, control him and make him function. Leo told me one day that before I joined the campaign Josh was a mess relying just on his brilliance. I suppose as a Rhodes Scholar there was plenty there, but Josh had no sense of life, that's how Leo put it. Do I dare credit myself with that aspect of Josh? Hardly, I think I just brought out what was already there. As I pondered this I realized that my phone was ringing, it's Annabeth and I still haven't come up with anything to help Josh, it's definitely been two minutes.

Answer the phone already Donna, "hello."

"Donna," its Annabeth and I can hear her tears.   
"What's wrong," I suddenly feel nervous.

"Leo collapsed in his hotel room, he wasn't breathing, they took him to the hospital," she hesitates brokenly, "it's a heart attack."

"Oh god," it's a whisper that comes out. My mind goes instantly to Josh; this is going to devastate him, not now, please not now.

Her sobbing brings me back to the present, "I'll find Josh, we're on our way," I reassure her and hang up heading down the hallway in time to see Josh skid in front of me.

Josh walks up looking both irritated and playful, "Two minutes, I told you to come get me."

His face is excited and full of hope; he's poking fun of me and my lack of saving him. Now I'm about to destroy him. All I think can think about is his emotions, his lack of sleep, and his dependency on Leo, how he worships him. He sees the broken look and knows something's wrong, but he can't possibly imagine this; he's babbling on and on about Texas, lawyers and then stops, "what?" It's genuine fear.

"It's Leo," I tell him what I know.

His eyes widen and I see the shock and pain in them. He's losing someone else, I want to hold him and whisper I'll never leave him. I realize that today it has come down to the death of a friend, and an election that will decide our future.

Josh is in the elevator as we ride up to Leo's floor. He's panicking I can tell, as soon as the doors open he runs down the hall stopping in front of Annabeth. I stop just behind him and hear her words, "he died."

I watch Josh put his arm around her and I wonder how he's not freaking out. In typical Josh style that will come later. I take a moment to wonder if our lives can ever be the same, Leo held us together and as our dear friend and mentor not having him here will create a void for Josh that no one, not even I, can fill.

Leo was such a dear friend, but he was also the center of our world as we know it, especially politically. The crew Leo assembled some nine years ago to help run the Bartlett campaign, the wisdom and leadership he brought to the White House, the friend and father figure he was to all of us, this was what made him so loved. Josh was particularly devoted to Leo.

Later I find him standing by a window struggling between grief and the importance of the campaign. I told him Lou was taking care of numbers, speeches, and reassuring voters about how Leo's death would affect us. I watched his face wishing I could tell what he was thinking, I'm sure somehow sometime he's going to blame himself. I'm not sure how to communicate with this Josh like I used to, but I still know him, he's still my Josh.

"Come on, let's go back to the hotel, I'll drive," I put my arm on his back and escort him to the door. Somehow, thankfully, I've fallen back into my caretaker role. This campaign has finally done what I'd hoped, not like this of course, but I'd always wanted to be seen as more than his fun-loving assistant and known as more than the one who "takes care of Josh." Perhaps I still do those things in a way, but now he doesn't see me as his assistant, and somehow after this, for better or worse, win or lose, I see a future for us.

We got Texas thankfully. People are hugging, laughing and crying; we have a shot to win this election. Josh is nowhere to be found, he should be here. This is his night as much as anyone's. He found the candidate and convinced the American public to entrust him with the country's future. I wander upstairs looking for him. The secret service agent points me into Leo's room where Josh is leaning against the couch.

"I called housekeeping so Mallory won't find the paramedics stuff," he sniffs loudly. I glance around the room and notice Leo's watch, glasses and his shoes, untied like he was getting ready for bed. I feel a sob rise, these reminders of Leo hurt, they are so real, and he was so alive so recently. If I feel devastated, the loss of his father figure must be killing Josh right now.

I fill him in on our progress, I wonder if it sinks in. He's a million miles away in the guilt and fear, and confusion.

"I shouldn't have asked him to join the ticket," ah this is where it comes out. Josh is blaming himself for Leo's death. Damn it! This is what I knew would happen, from the moment Annabeth called me I knew this would happen. The loss Josh has felt in his life, sister, father, abandonment, Leo, this is all so old for him. He's never going to be used to it; me I left him. I tear my thoughts away from my own guilt, I came back and I have to prove I'm not leaving again. After the last few weeks, the kiss, the sex, the love, I could never leave Josh, not ever again. This is my place, at his side, loving and somehow in a Josh way, being loved in return. I see the way he looks at me, leans on me, touches me, I know this is real, as real as the pain he feels.

"Josh no one ever made Leo do anything he didn't want to do," I know he wanted to work with Josh on this campaign. Leo was a master and he wanted Josh to succeed, but he like everyone else knew that Josh doubted himself. Leo was made for a less stressful, but equally important job. This was the job of the vice president and advisor to the Chief of Staff as a veteran of 7 years in the role. Leo was the right man for Josh to ask and Leo gladly and proudly accepted it. We all knew how Leo felt about Josh, how proud he was.

"Josh," he looks at me, "you should be down there, and it's your night too." It is his, he made this whole thing happen and I want him to know that we love him no matter what.

He looks like he's at the end of his rope, "Leo would be so proud of you right now," I try desperately to reassure him. His ego has never been so fragile and even after the shooting he never looked so vulnerable, it's the same look as I saw in his eyes in Germany when I was about to have surgery. God that look he had; like he was never going to see me again. I didn't have the energy to reassure him then, I leaned on him instead and somehow he promised me it would be okay. As I stand here now looking back, I can't imagine how much that moment scared him to think that we weren't going to become us. Two years later, he's helped run the closest campaign in the recent years and I've come a long way towards growing up. I've made decisions, to be here, to commit to him. Now is not the time to discuss it, but I'm here forever.

He leans his head against my chest and I stroke his back gently. I can feel his sobs deep inside and I want to ease his pain, but I don't know how.

Josh's POV:

Her touch is the only thing that's really seemed real today. The polls, the numbers, the lawyers, the speeches, the states, it's all in an alternate world. These people don't know Leo, not like I do, did, or Donna. She knew when she told me he was in the hospital and when she heard the news that this was going to tear at me in ways I couldn't deal with. I'm so lucky Lou hired her, so lucky that she puts up with me. Mostly I'm thankful that she's here, that she knows me and that she loves me.

We just won Oregon and Nevada, the two states that we needed. We won! Matthew Santos is going to be the next President of the United States. What a day this has been. I raise my arms in victory and in disbelief and then turn to find Donna there. She's smiling at me and I catch her up in my arms tightly. This woman is incredible, she knows me and we're finally going to be together. This victory, this moment, this reality, this tragedy is making my head hurt. People are celebrating everywhere and there is joy amidst sadness. But she is here, and I can feel from her radiating the promise that she will always be here.

Donna's POV

He's coloring in Nevada in blue, and he's adding up the votes…267 plus 5 equals 272, we won two times over just now. Santos is speaking and Josh is here alone, desperately trying to figure out a way to move on. He's lost one of his most treasured friends and his mentor. Leo's death has created a dark hole in Josh's life. I can almost feel Leo standing next to me asking me to watch out for Josh. Leo knew from years ago that I did, I always have. I left and I wonder sometimes if Leo was ever angry at me for abandoning Josh, but I think he knew I couldn't stay away. I just needed to make sure that I was there for the right reasons. I am here for all the right reasons and I silently promise Leo that I know that now. Josh catches a glimpse of me and studies me for an intense minute and then turns to the board of campaign photos, I can tell from his posture that he is filled with emotion, "thanks boss," I barely hear him whisper.

Josh's POV

She's watching me, I'm okay with that. I like when Donna watches me. She's watched me for years and just knowing that someone wouldn't stop for red lights that someone would always pick you up if you needed a helping hand, is a blessing. I remember the night after my time with Stanley how Leo promised me as long as he had a job, I had a job. How a friend could help you out of the darkest hole. Donna and Leo have done that for me for years. Now he's gone, but he set me on a new course and I have Donnatella Moss now. I have her heart which is a blessing because she's always had mine. I think Leo would be happy to know that. I watch her face for a moment, there's an intense devotion there that I realize I've seen all along. So did Leo.

I glance at the board with all those photos; it's been a long road. I see Leo's beaming wide face the night he accepted the nomination. I asked him and I remember the look of astonishment. He accepted, and I realize now that what Donna said is true; Leo didn't accept because I begged, he accepted because he wanted to serve until the day he died. He'd served in the army, public service, even destroyed his marriage because he believed he was doing something greater. That rubbed off I think, I believe in that cause too. The question is, will my life suffer? I think Donna knows what she's getting into. I think she realizes that Leo's influence, my work; my future is tied up in this great country. Rather than Jenny's struggle to keep Leo divided, I think Donna will keep me strong when my resolve fails.

Leo's wise happy face stares back at me, he looks like he still holds all the answers and in my book he always will. Today though, today we need to look towards the future, the future Leo gave me that night where he said, "this is the back room now Josh," he was giving me the chance to move on, his permission to leave. I left and now I'm about to go back again. It's four more years in that building. We get four years of haggling, ruffling feathers, and four more years to make a difference. I can spend it with Donna, with a new president, with hope. Leo started me on this road and I wish to God he'd been here to finish it with me. He deserved that as a man who gave to the American public for over twenty years.

"Thanks boss," I whisper. Inwardly my heart constricts with the powerful gratitude I feel and my thoughts run silently on. Thank you Leo for everything I have today, right now and for the time we still have. I turn from the board as I think about the future and thank Leo for his guidance and I walk towards the woman who has always been there for me; towards our future as well. I think we have one and she smiles at the look in my eye. Without saying a word I place my arm around her shoulders and she slips an arm around my waist and we walk out of the empty room and towards the next four years.


	3. You are the Future

Spoilers for Requiem

Disclaimer: just borrowing for creativity, I own nothing. I was unable to locate the transcript for this episode, so again, I'm going on memory a bit here.

Author's notes Thanks to those who reviewed, I appreciate your kind words, they are always encouraging and I'm glad you are enjoying it so far.

RIP John Spencer

Chapter 3: You are the Future

Donna's POV

The bishop is speaking, probably about life, letting go, the wonder of being released. All I can think about is Leo's smile. He is gone, Josh is sitting next to CJ and I can't tell how he's feeling. I'm surrounded by old friends, Toby, Andy, Vice President Russell, Ex-vice president Hoynes, Charlie, the President and Mrs. Bartlett, Ainsley Hayes is here, so is Joey and even Amy. The President's daughters are together, so are his grandchildren and many others, Congressman Santos, Mrs. Santos, Danny, Carol, Debbie, Kate, Will, Annabeth, and dear Margaret. How she loved him. Her shoulders are shaking and I know that deep down inside she was his most faithful companion; she stayed by his side long after everyone else went home. She would never leave before he did, often times waiting until he walked out before she left to assure herself he wasn't pretending so he could come back and work. He never did, he would always know she would be waiting. After his divorce Margaret would care for him in ways neither ever acknowledged. Sometimes I think she loved him romantically, I don't know, none of us know. I wonder if Leo would be smiling at the future Josh and I might have. Somehow I think he is. Leo's casket is passing in front of me, dear Josh, he is under so much pressure and I don't know what I can do to help him.

We're at the White House now, catching up with old friends. The President has just arrived and is pushing for a celebration, Abbey is watching him carefully and I realize that perhaps he is putting on a complete façade.

I sit down next to Josh and wait.

"So do you still have a key," he smiles.

I've had one for six years, but I tell him I'm staying with CJ.

He shifts awkwardly and blurts out something about it not being just the sex and I know we're not defined. It's awkward again and then I stand, "it's sweet of you to offer," and it is. He's trying.

Josh's POV

She turned me down, she turned having sex with me down. I guess we're still not sure where we are, I really did want her to stay though. I hope she knows that.

Later Amy corners me about a woman VP candidate, I decide to argue with her for a moment and then concede. She says I'm a good man. Ha, only when she gets her way. Amy is incredibly sexy, I realize that, but for the first time I feel no attraction to a woman who is still using seduction in politics. She manipulated me, but we always fought and argued, there was no separation between love and politics, there should be, like church and state in this country. Donna and I breathe in a language of unity. Okay that sounds flowery, but now I realize that for years chasing Amy was a desperate attraction. I thought I loved her; now quibbling with her is so irritating. "I have a friend Josh, Sarah" and she's off and running. Donna appears out of nowhere asking me a question and I'm thrown. Amy turns away and then asks Donna if she's heard of this woman. Donna responds yes and that she's sweet.

I speak up that Amy wants to set me up and Donna manages not to blink an eye, she plays along. I know she's probably wondering where she fits in and I'm beginning to realize I'm going to have to face this soon. We've kissed, we've slept together sure, but honestly our relationship is already beyond first date and second date aspects. After nine years of quiet lust and denied expression, I think Donna and I have some decisions to make. Sadly I've never been good at this; ask anyone, even Amy.

Suddenly Matt Santos appears to distract Amy and I quickly make my exit with Donna.

Donna's POV:

Amy wants to set him up, I suppose that's better than her sinking her claws in. When I saw them together, I can't describe the fears that welled up. She had a hold on him for so long. That is my place now; at least I hope it is. Josh however is reassuring me by leaving quickly escorting me out. I love the way a simple touch makes me feel so cared for.

The President is now telling stories and implicates Josh in one of them. He protests and gets told to "shut up." I hold back my snicker but Josh notices and shakes his head. He looks tired, overwhelmed and uncertain. At around ten the First Lady breaks up the party looking concerned by her husband and I can suddenly see myself twenty years from now breaking up Josh's gatherings; our gatherings. The thought continues, Josh with whitening hair, a successful politician, our daughters and sons rolling their eyes at stories about the good old days, our grandchildren racing around and my heart contracts painfully.

I leave without Josh; he needs a moment alone with the President. I return to my darkening hotel room and remove my necklace I put on earlier. It is simple, a cross and I think of Leo's life and his role in mine. He drove our hopes and dreams into reality. We owe him so much; Josh will struggle for a long time to fill his shoes.

Perhaps it is naïve to think of our future now when everything is barely falling into place, but it's been so long waiting for him. I don't want to wait, I have a life and I know what I want now. I've known for so long, but this is Josh and knowing him the way I do, the next few steps are up to me as well.

My mind again travels to the life we're destined to have, four, possibly eight years in the White House. We'll work together, but I don't think I can work under him. That will ruin whatever is happening now, and I don't want that. I want him, just him, just the man that I've worked with every day for nine years, the man whose deepest darkest fears I know, whose life was almost taken from me when he was shot, the goofball that would scream out my name, and I would always answer because I was helplessly devoted. I know Josh better than anyone, I feel his pain, his joy, his helplessness, but I've never wanted anything more than to share equally in his life no matter what.

Josh's POV

"I was supposed to be doing this with Leo," I feel so utterly alone right now.

The president is studying me carefully, "he loved you like a son you know."

I do know that, I know he's proud.

"Josh, Leo and I were the past, you are the future. We are counting on you."  
However flattering that is, it does nothing to reassure the nerves that are close to exploding inside of me right now.

"Good night Sir," I turn and make my way out, "good night Mrs. Bartlett."

I close the large black gate and stand staring at the White House. I'm about to be the Chief of Staff to the leader of the free world for four years. I don't know if I can do this. How did I get here? I turn and walk away from my future, tomorrow I'll walk back towards it. I feel though that someday when I walk away from the Oval Office and the President that I could be walking towards something else. Donna's sweet loving face suddenly comes into my mind and a new vision starts growing. Instead of paperwork, wars, situation rooms and obnoxious congressmen, I see a home. I see Donna setting the table having left work a bit early. I can kids running down the stairs shouting and I imagine Donna's gentle welcome home kiss. After dinner, she'll wash and I'll dry. She'll sit down in an armchair with some work and the kids will do their homework and ask questions about math. Later we'll read those stories kids love so much, about princesses and long lost princes, and castles, and tuck them under the covers. Donna will sing them a song and I'll just stand there leaning against the doorframe. I'll watch my family and I won't feel so tired anymore. We'll close the door and make our way to our room, she'll run a bath and I'll get out my clothes. Donna will choose an appropriate tie and I'll try and read something productive. Finally, smelling of confronting bath perfumes, she'll join me in bed and I'll take her in my arms and we'll make small talk until we fall asleep. I realize I'm standing staring blankly at the side of the street and that this is the most hopeful I've felt all day. With Donna at my side, I can do anything.


	4. The Talk

Spoilers for Transition (part I of II). Also, I'm just borrowing dialogue from the show. I do apologize for not updating more recently, I just finished up school for the year, and hopefully next time will be quicker.

The next chapter will deal with the second part of the episode of Transition. The episode is packed with Josh and Donna scenes and I want to relish them because after this there are very few moments and I'll be improvising as I try and take this fic into Post-West Wing territory. Enjoy.

Josh is in California and I'm sitting with the First Lady in waiting picking out mansions. She's in shock at the offerings and suddenly my phone rings, "excuse me ma'am."

"Did you just ma'am me?" She looks absolutely shocked and I struggle for an answer.

"I seem to have," what am I supposed to call her?

"Don't do that again," she's grinning.

"Hello?" I answer crisply.

"Hey," it's Josh, my heart races and I think not for the first time that perhaps sometime when he calls me it'll say "home" or "my man." I scoff at my imagination; this is a man who has the relationship grace of a elephant.

"Hey," well done Donna. This is weird.

"How you doing?" He's stressed, but still wanting to know.

"Okay, what did Sam say?" I'm so curious.

"Uh he's thinkin'," Josh sounds frustrated.

"That's good," I wait for him to agree, but I know there's a questioning tone for him as well.

"Yeah I guess," he sighs silently. I can read him so well.

"You didn't expect him to say yes just like that?" He can't seriously have expected that.

"Kind of," Josh sounds indignant. Go figure.

"I'm sure he's got stuff to figure out," I tactfully point out that maybe Sam had some actual life things to consider.

"What stuff? Its service to the President, what stacks up against that?" This man infuriates me! Why am I cursed to be in love with him!

"Not everybody's like you, so…" I go to point out the obvious.

"Dedicated," he finishes almost smugly.

"Monomaniacal" I correct with a slight smile and then awkwardly I give him an opening, "Is there um, something else?"

"There must have been something. Oh yeah uh, are you going to be around?" He's nervous I can tell.  
"When?" I pounce on his question, maybe now I'll get somewhere.

"You know generally?" His voice is completely unsteady.

"Yes generally I I am going to be around." Okay not exactly calm and collected either.

"At some point we should probably…" How high can his voice go? It's so uneven, he sounds like he's being strangled.  
"Yeah," I try to let him off the hook

"Talk," he continues awkwardly. Oh my Josh, that word was an octave higher than most women.

"That's be good," I reassure him. It really would be amazing to actually talk with him about our future.

"About you know…at some point," duh Josh I'm not stupid, I remember sleeping with you, and I remember thinking for the last nine years that I need you in my life.  
"At some point it'd be good," I can wait a few more days, somehow.

"Okaaay then, ok," he's trying, his voice, I don't laugh.  
"Have a good flight," I wish him well I really do.

"Yeah you too, I mean not, not you too, obviously," boy he's flustered.

"Bye," I hang up.

It's funny really, but the more intense things get with Josh, the more excited I am. I love the idea of a future with him and all those little moments. I love his whole being with all of my heart. I never thought I could love someone quite the way I love him.

Josh's POV  
I'm tired, I'm so tired. My conversation with Sam only brought back ideas of Donna and our future. His comments implied that I had no time for a life, honestly, I don't know. Just then there's a knock. Oh God, no more people, I just want to sleep and be alone with my tortuous thoughts. Slowly I open the door, it's her.

"Hi," she's smiling.

"When I said we needed to talk, I wasn't necessarily thinking about tonight, I'm kinda fried." Fried doesn't even begin to describe.

"Who said anything about talking," and her arms around my neck and her soft frame is pressed up against me. Oh god, Donna's kissing me and this feels so right. Her hand is on my face and travels down over my heart and chest. I push off her coat wrapping my arms around her, yes groping her adorable ass that I've watched for years. I know I'm a pervert, but I'm not immune to the goddess like self she is, body and so much more. I breathe in her soothing scent and she throws off her coat. I'm holding her and I never want to let go. I'm dimly aware of the door being pushed shut and I'm lost to everything except how much I love her.

Donna's POV

The bed is cold and the pillow is vacant. Josh is up. Glancing at the clock I see it's almost 6. I dress and enter the living room, he's already working and he looks gorgeous. Sure he's tired, really tired and already working, but I love him. Get a grip Donna, sooner or later this has to end. I have to lay down a law.

"Morning," I smile. He doesn't even look up. Instead he begins talking, begins talking out his thoughts to me, what else is new?

"In the education plan, do we hit full on or do we step it out, start with teacher tenure year, get some traction before we try extending the school year. Those conservatives are already laying for us, comparing us to avoiding the word Christmas which I don't begin to understand." Wow, what a deep thought after the night we spent, typical Josh.

"How long have you been up?" Pulling on my coat, I watch him slaving away, he's too tired.

"Uh you know," he's avoiding me, also typical. He won't change; I have to help him figure us out.

"I don't actually, that's why I asked," I've always had to point out the obvious with Josh, now though, I have to completely firm.

"Uh couple hours," he's a million miles away. Is this fair to me! No, but it's Josh and you have to love all of him if you're going to love him at all. However I think it's time for the talk.

"So last night was was nice," he smiles up at me and I almost melt. Melt, yes I said that. His eyes oh get a grip Donna.

"Nice it was was really nice, on the nice scale it was way up there in terms of, ya know niceness," he's grinning and nervous. Cute doesn't even describe this look in his eyes, I have dreamed of this look, wished to see it directed at me since the day I met him. So many times I watched Amy and even Joey receive the Lyman admiration. He's always been attracted to strong women, am I a strong woman? I have to be now. I have to let him know that I really truly mean to have a future with him. But we've been waiting for a future for nine years. I'm done waiting.

"Be still and listen to me," I sit down facing him and trying to steady my smile.

"I don't know what this is and you don't know either which is perfectly fine and understandable. But over the build up, it's all happened in the mid of circling heightened emotional circumstances, the election, Leo's death, there's been no moment to take a breath much less figure any of this out. And now this roller coaster is plunging into the transition with its' time pressure demands and then the inauguration and let's hit ground running and the first 100 days and before you know it the midterms and the new Congress and then we're running again, and four years becomes eight and we've never had the talk and you can lose the look of panic in your eyes, we not going to have to have it now, we never have to have it. But there's a window, I say four weeks. If we can't get it together in that time to figure out what we want from each other, then clearly it's not worth the trouble. And while last night was lovely, I've already called a cab, you should put on some coffee and I'll see you at the office."

I give him a passionate kiss hoping it tells him what my words did not, that I don't want to leave him, and that I want a future with him. I walk to the door letting it shut loudly, "bye," his call echoes after me.

I can hardly believe that I just told him that. I'm sitting in the cab on the way to the office and I'm shaking. I can only hope this works out for the best and Josh doesn't freak out. I saw the look in his eyes, he's nervous I'm going to leave. If he just makes one effort I'll stay with him forever. All I need to know is that someday Josh and I will get our life outside the White House. There were so many men who never had a chance because of him. I didn't ask to love Josh, I'm probably the most loyal one in his life, and he is certainly the truth in mine. My parents were always skeptical about my career, Dr. Freeride used me, and the list goes on. Between the lack of faith in my life, and the loss in his, its no wonder we've been everything to each other. When he looks at me now, I believe that.

Josh's POV:  
She walked out, but she'll still be here. She's just going to the office. I know I have to figure out how to make this work. It's up to me, I've treated her so horribly, and yet I've never needed anyone like I need her. My hair is a mess, I'm seeing double, I don't eat right, and I'm going to die of a heart attack soon, why does she want me? She's smart, she's gorgeous, she has a heart of gold and Donna is ultimately incredibly well balanced, since when does she need a crazy man who's at an utter loss most of the time in her life? How did I get this lucky? Leo must be ready to shake me. He left me, I still feel that loss keenly and if I'm not careful I'm going to be feeling her loss too. Now that Donna is so involved in my life, now that I get to hold her as she falls asleep and make love to her and maybe someday (who knows when) get to make her breakfast, I can't give this up. I just can't. I won't live anymore without her, that time she left me I felt like my life would never be the same. I'd only known her for two months. Now, now she's the fixture in my life.

My mind again goes to the family I want with her; the homework problems, even the late nights and diapers. I don't know how we'd manage, but we would, we're Josh and Donna. She'd be an amazing mother, our children would be so loved, I feel a lump in my throat picturing Donna pregnant. She'd have that glow and her smile would be breathtaking. She'd send me out for ice cream and pickles, or tuna and chocolate late when I'd just have gotten home. I'd do it for her too, without a complaint; she'd have that angel like glow and a spoon ready when I got back. I have to focus now on the transition, I have a responsibility to the President-elect. I'm also human; I haven't felt human in years, since Amy. Amy made me feel like screaming, Donna made me feel peaceful, always, and being around her was the best part of my day. This is the best I've felt in years.


End file.
